Shame Almost Destroyed Our Marriage—Here’s How We Took It Back

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In this deeply personal episode of Talk Marriage to Me, my husband Skylar Lewis and I open up about how shame, silence, and unspoken trauma nearly tore our marriage apart—and what we did to fight for intimacy, healing, and connection. What started as a reaction to a powerful video by Mel Robbins turned into one of the most raw and honest conversations we’ve ever had publicly. I share a painful childhood memory I carried alone for decades… and how keeping that secret affected every part of my relationship, especially our intimacy. Together, we talk about: - How shame blocks connection and isolates us in marriage - The impact of unhealed trauma on emotional and physical intimacy - What it looks like for a husband to create emotional safety without pressure - Why so many wives never tell their husbands about past abuse - How we began the process of taking our marriage back—one hard conversation at a time You can also watch Skylar’s personal reaction and his perspective over on the Rise Up Kings YouTube channel. youtube.com/@UCvQY8_f0hPbiTS-_k4fZ_UQ If you’ve ever felt disconnected, distant, or like something is blocking true closeness with your spouse, this episode is for you. There is hope. There is healing. And there is always a way forward—together. Subscribe for more real conversations on sex, emotional healing, communication, and building a marriage rooted in grace. Share this with a friend or couple who needs to hear: you are not alone. Original video by Mel Robbins featuring Dr. Gabor Maté that inspired this conversation: Why You Feel Lost in Life: Dr. Gabor Maté on Trauma & How to Heal https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tool-R8VJ2Y Chapters: 00:00 - Shame Is Not From God 00:49 - Abuse’s Impact on Marriage & Parenting 01:08 - The Night That Changed Everything 02:22 - Trauma Starts with Feeling Alone 03:13 - How Abusers Pick Their Victims 04:00 - My Repressed Memory at 39 04:56 - Why Wives Stay Silent About Abuse 05:37 - Men Struggle with Trauma Too 06:26 - Creating Safety Inside Marriage